I recently drove from my state to the one north of me to join friends at a concert. It was about a four to five hour drive. During the drive it took me through some of the rural parts of my state, and I began to notice something, other than the increasing degree of frustration rising by the minute. No one was taught that the left lane is for passing. They just drive in the left lane as if it was the only lane on a two lane highway (two lanes one way, and two the other). Oh, and they love to drive right next to the car in the right lane, so no one can pass. It is like they go out of their way to maintain this short-lived feeling of absolute power. So, your only choice is to ride their ass. If you do that you get dirty looks through the rear view mirror, and maybe a couple of hand gestures. It is like they have no idea that they are blocking all traffic on the road while traveling at the breakneck pace of 10 miles below the posted speed limit. Oh, and I left the best part for last…if it is a good day, they do not even pay attention to you, the road or anything else, because they are on an emergency phone call with there cell phone in one hand pressed to their ear - oblivious to the rest of the world. Upon pulling up behind this lady in this huge dirty green SUV blocking all traffic on a two lane US highway traveling basically 10 miles under the speed limit locked together with the other SUV in the right lane, I thought to myself, be patient, listen to a song, she will get out of the way in a minute. Five songs and 10 minutes later, nothing has changed, except the scenery around us. So, I pulled up and rode on her ass a bit, trying to give her the polite indication that I wanted her to get out of the way so I could pass and go on. Nothing, she was too busy instructing brain surgery over the cell phone while driving to pay attention to anything else. So after five more minutes, I got impatient. Yes, I know, but that is just the way I am sometimes. So, out of frustration and lack of any other options (have not had the 50 caliber machine gun installed in the front of my truck just yet), I blew the horn. Yes, I used the device, installed in all automobiles, but everyone is afraid to use. This actually got her attention after the second time. I guess she thought I was beeping at someone else and could I not see that she was on an important phone call. Then she has the nerve to look surprised and confused, like ‘what?!?’. So I motion with my hand for her to get out of my way. No, I did not give her the finger, I wanted to, but I did not. I simply waved my hand, motioning her to move out of the way. Her response, however, was not as mature. A single digit pointing skyward. I distinctly recall remembering vividly a line from Saturday morning Bugs Bunny cartoons, the ones where Bugs is presented with similar infuriating behavior, his response as was mine - ‘Of course you realize, this means war!’ As I contemplated my options, the man in the SUV in the right lane noticed the situation, and maybe even saw the lady giving me the finger. He immediately slowed down and opened a path for me to pass. Seeing the opening I immediately took it and as I passed him I expressed my thanks by nodding and slightly bowing my head in reverence.
There are many things that can be concluded from this, but the most important one is - the left lane is for PASSING! Memorize it , learn, live it! The next person rudely blocked in this situation, could have 50 caliber machine guns installed under the hood for just such occasions. My truck goes in the shop next week for the installation of a 20mm chain gun and hellfire missiles. 
Recent Comments