Just saw this on Veronica’s blog. If you have ever been the captor of a cat or both at the same time, you should find this hilarious.
“Excerpts from a Dog’s Twitterâ€
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!“Excerpts from a Cat’s Twitterâ€
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that
keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I
once again vomit on the carpet.Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a “good little hunter†I am. There
was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in
solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of “allergies.†I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that
the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives
special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more
than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I
am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…
Btw, tweets are posts on Twitter.
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